FromBothEnds.com

Dear Both Ends: Can you tell me where I can find a decent woman? All the women I date seem
to fall into the same rut after a few months. It’s great in the beginning, but after that they start
nit-picking and nagging me to the point I just don’t want to be with them any more. I have
things I do for recreation on the weekends, like golf and skiing. I have done them for years, and
will continue to do them, but I always get the same old complaint—I am not spending enough
time with them. These women know this going into the relationship, and they say it doesn’t
bother them but after a while I see their true colors. Are there any women out there that won’t
change their personality after they get comfortable?
Charles; age 53, divorced, 2 grown sons, Technical Analyst

Dr Gomes: Charles, if you are hearing the same thing from all your ex-partners, then perhaps you
are not listening to their feedback. I suspect that your former partners were decent women (a
few at least), but what you bring to the relationship results in changing how they ultimately treat
you. We do teach others how to interact with us.
Suggestion: Write down all that you have ever hear from your ex-partners and read them
often! Read “How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving” by David Richo.

Larry Star: Women are like bean burritos. It’s fantastic with the first bite, but if you eat it every
day eventually you will get heartburn. Whenever you meet someone for the first time they always
want to make a great first impression, especially if romance is looming. But it’s hard to keep up a
façade like that too long especially when they feel their own needs aren’t met—even if they say
they things to the contrary. Bottom line: Your kids are grown, you sound financially stable, so my
advice is to keep going where the indecent woman are. They’re more fun anyway, at least in the
beginning. And they like Mexican food.
Suggestion: Listen to Cat Stevens’, “Hard Headed Woman.”

From Both Ends: Dr. Gomes feels that if all of Charles’ relationships fail for the same reason, then
the common factor is his behavior. Larry disagrees with Dr. Gomes for the simple fact that a man
shouldn’t have to change his recreational habits, desires, and wants to get a woman to stop
nagging him.